If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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