i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
