he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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