Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
