She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
