I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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