Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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