I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
