She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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