Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
