Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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