get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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