The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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