Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
