I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
