i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
