Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
