You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
