I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
