Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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