she smelled like a LAN party
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
