My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
