she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
