There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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