like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
