why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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