The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
