She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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