I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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