Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
