We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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