i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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