Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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