i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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