I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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