why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
