Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
