I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize