well most of my day revolves around power hour
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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