Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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