Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
