pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
