"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
