i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
