my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
