I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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