remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
