I want to have your abortion
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
