Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its not stalking. its research.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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