also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
