he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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