I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
