so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
