i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
