Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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