Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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