would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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