Sponge bath it is.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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