So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
