Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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